LLC Incident Report and Policy
The Code of Conduct has been removed in its entirety and replaced with the following policy:
The LLC Grievance/Advisory Concern
LLC is an organization formed and operated by Leaders within the BDSM/Leather/Lifestyle communities who enjoy supporting and serving their communities. Our goal is to provide an informational and social organization to address issues specific to diversity, inclusion and representation in order to project the positive aspects of the leather lifestyle and support our community and economic initiatives.
Vision
We envision a richly educated and connected community of leaders. In serving leaders, those that are on a path to leadership, and community groups, we strive to foster a greater sense of connection between and within the communities we serve.
Our Commitment
Introduction and Purpose
LLC is committed to providing an educational, welcoming, respectful environment where attendees can learn, connect, and participate safely. Every attendee shares responsibility for helping create that environment through respectful conduct, accountability, and care for one another.
We endeavor to create a positive and cooperative learning space. However, we acknowledge that no event or education environment is perfect.
This document outlines our reporting process for consent incidents or grievances that occur at the LLC as well as incidents outside of the event concerning LLC attendees, affiliates such as staff, presenters, sponsors and regional producers and volunteers. We recognize that every experience is unique. While this policy sets the standards for our process for handling such incidents, there may be times where circumstances of a consent incident requires a deviation from this standard. We will update this policy as we continue to evolve to better serve our community’s interests.
Consent Policy
“Consent” means a person’s willingness and ability to engage in a specific act. It is important to note that consent is the mutual creation of an agreement: the presence of “YES!” not just the absence of “No.”
Do not touch anyone without their permission or what they have consented to in the past, and don’t base consent on what you’ve seen someone do with other people.
All activities must receive prior consent explicitly by verbal or written agreement rather than through gestures, body language, or past behavior.
Informed consent requires discussing the risks involved in the activity and the steps needed to reduce those risks, including study, training, technique, and safety measures.
Don’t re-negotiate while in a headspace unless it is to reject activities that were previously agreed to. A person who is in an altered state of mind of any kind may not be able to give informed consent.
Follow all LLC rules.
Do not pressure, force, coerce, or manipulate someone into consent.
Do not do anything likely to result in serious bodily injury or go beyond the participant’s negotiated expectations, even where the participant gave consent.
All attendees must abide by LLC’s no-photo policy.
Don’t “out” anyone as kinky, non-monogamous, Leather or in an authority exchange relationship to their family, friends, co-workers, or anyone outside of our community. Don’t use someone’s first/last name in person or online with others unless they give you specific permission to do so. Don’t share anyone’s Personally Identifiable Information (PII), including photographs, in any form or format without their consent.
If you would like someone to cease contact with you, please tell them either verbally or by direct message: “Please don’t contact me anymore.” If you receive a message that an individual has revoked consent for contact, this applies to all forms of direct communication. Once you have revoked consent for contact, you should not initiate further contact yourself.
Attendees are reminded to follow proper etiquette and exercise discretion in their actions and communications.
LLC value, respect, and model Consent as a core value
Consent is one’s own personal agency and ability to agree to some proposal or activity. Permission is the authority one has to give their consent for another to interact with someone with whom they are in a relationship (BDSM/kink or otherwise).
We understand that consent MUST be freely given before engaging in sexual, kink, romantic, or any other activities or relationships.
Consent must be given with a clear mind and without the threat of consequences.
Consent cannot be given while under the influence of alcohol or drugs or under duress.
Consent must be specific to the activities under consideration. Things are expressly consented to or they are not, especially when engaging in kink activities.
Legally, consent cannot be given for activities such as castration, removal of a limb, rape, or murder.
We understand that consent may be freely withdrawn or modified at any point.
Consent must be considered withdrawn if participants are no longer able to respond due to unconsciousness or lapsing into incoherency.
We are bound to respect that withdrawal and govern ourselves accordingly.
We respect and value Permission as a related critical value in interpersonal relationships.
Permission does not supersede someone’s ability to grant/deny consent.
We respect permissions granted/denied by parties known to us.
We do not take private photography, videos or electronic media involving other people without their expressed consent.
We recognize that it is immoral (if not illegal) to take/create media of people engaged in sexual contact in clubs/bars, sex clubs, private events, etc. without their consent.
We may not share or distribute them without expressed consent. Remember that there is no expectation of complete privacy on any form of social media (such as private groups, message boards, text chains, etc.) and posted content can be the basis of civil and/or criminal prosecution. This includes transmission via text, email, or mobile applications.
The prohibition against taking such imagery/media includes taking images and/or audio of people encountered in public places or in places where one might have an expectation of privacy, including bathrooms, gyms, locker rooms, etc. Such imagery is already considered illegal in most jurisdictions. The intent behind the taking of the image is immaterial.
We do not share private play date / play activity information/images (past, present or future) without the consent of all participating parties.
We do not share the personal statistics, proclivities, or kinks of play partners or intimates without their permission.
We observe and respect the privacy of individual’s health information.
We do not share any details of another's physical and mental health without permission.
We do not share details of another’s HIV or other STI status, medications they may be taking, hospitalizations, etc.
LLC observe interpersonal protocol standards.
We do not touch or engage others without permission. This includes hugs and any other touches, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature or intent. This includes touching their apparel, harness, head gear, jewelry, etc.
We respect the visible signs and symbols, such as collars, of a BDSM dynamic. We never touch these symbols unless expressly invited to do so.
We do not attempt to circumvent, subvert, or sabotage someone’s dynamic or relationship.
We resolve conflicts and disagreements in a manner based on mutual respect for one another and the best of intentions.
We never interrupt a play scene unless you strongly feel one of more participants are facing impending health or safety concerns. This should be done in only the rarest of circumstances. Do not attempt to talk to participants during a scene.
We never join a scene uninvited.
LLC communicate respectfully and accurately.
The LLC understand that our words and actions must reflect our collective values and principles. We exercise thoughtful and restrained behavior. We think before we speak or act.
We do not tolerate discrimination, communication or harassment based on sex, race, color, creed, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, citizenship, disability, marital status, or any other recognized group.
We do not tolerate inappropriate or mean-spirited communication, including both in-person and social media communications.
We do not tolerate attendees’ bulling with words or actions.
We require attendees to treat everyone as equals deserving of the same rights, respect and dignity.
We accept and value critiques and positions different from our own and expect attendees to demonstrate the same respect.
We support all within the BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, and differently abled/impaired community and do not tolerate communication or actions that undermine this work.
We hear and respect the voices of others from marginalized communities.
We believe their stories even if they are radically different from our own experience.
We are careful in our advocacy never to center our voice over theirs.
We do not tolerate the use of toxic language or micro-aggressions.
We do not tolerate attendees’ valuing masculinity and masculine ideals in ways considered toxic.
We do not attendees’ express negative opinions of femininity or of female genitalia.
We do not tolerate gay phobic communication or actions.
We do not tolerate transphobic language or support transphobic ideals and attitudes.
We do not tolerate the use of racist language or support racist ideals and attitudes.
We ask attendees to recognize the diversity of People of Color within the LLC family. If you are not are not part of a particular group within the community of People of Color, we ask that refrain from using racist or coded language to describe them or espousing attitudes and opinions used to marginalize them.
We promote this diversity in our words, actions, and advocacy and expect LLC attendees to do the same.
Violation of the Standards of Conduct
A Protest indicating a Violation of the Standards of Conduct shall be presented to the Chair, Secretary and Vice Chair in writing.
The Board Member(s) shall prepare a written statement on the nature of the Violation, including the parties involved, relevant dates and times, and other pertinent data on the Violation.
The Accused attendee/volunteer/ staff shall be informed of the receipt of the accusation within five (5) business days from its receipt by the Executive Board, and, if appropriate, offered an opportunity to prepare a written rebuttal, although one is not required or guaranteed.
The Executive Board may ask for or require clarifying revisions to either or both statements.
Resolution of the Violation will follow the approved Board Vote and Removal Processes, if deemed necessary.
Reporting an Incident
LLC only takes first-person reports and cannot act on hearsay or third-party reports. We do not take anonymous reports.
To ensure a timely response, please use the following methods to report:
During the event, please speak with any Board member who will provide advice regarding the onsite reporting process.
Outside of events, you can contact us via info@leatherleadership.org.
LLC takes consent incidents seriously and reviews concerns thoroughly, and this process takes time. Therefore, there may not be time to come to a decision on incidents reported immediately prior to the event.
Reporting Process
If the reporter is in crisis, we may suggest they contact a kink-aware crisis professional or advocacy organization for immediate care. At an event, if an attendee needs to call 911 or an ambulance, we will encourage them to do so, and a member of staff will wait with them until help arrives.
The Consent Incident Report Form goes directly to the LLC Board of Directors. This form contains a field requiring indication of the reporter’s consent for the Producer to share the reported information with the LLC Incident Advisory Team, including a neutral third-party reviewer from the mental health field whose purpose is to gather information and provide a recommendation for next steps. If the reviewer is unable to be neutral due to prior relationship with any of the parties involved, an alternate reviewer will be assigned.
The LLC Advisory Team will only talk to the reporter, the reported person, and anyone who witnessed the consent incident, as/if appropriate.
We do not bring the reporter and reported person together to discuss the incident or attempt to perform a mediation or facilitate an apology.
We will reach out to those involved to individually hear their experience. We may request additional materials and have additional questions as we collect information, as/if necessary.
We do not give the report to the person who has been reported. If the reporter has been threatened with a defamation lawsuit or fears for their safety, we will maintain their confidentiality with the reported person. However, this may make it more difficult to gather information about the consent incident and make a decision.
We will take into consideration what the reporter would like to happen, without making any guarantees.
We will not engage with social media posts that reference consent incident accusations or reports, due to the risk of additional harm and liability to all parties.
Temporary Steps During Information Gathering
Reported and reporting attendees are expected to navigate shared spaces responsibly, such as avoiding shared spaces, during a pending review or to refrain from attending the event if they cannot. Reporters and reported are also asked to be risk-aware and leave spaces or events if interaction will be potentially damaging to their mental or physical well-being.
Depending on the nature of the initial report, all individuals may be temporarily required to refrain from attending while the information gathering process takes place. We recognize that this situation may be undesirable to those involved in a consent incident but may need to take this measure until a final decision can be reached. If an incident occurs during LLC, no refunds will be given.
What We Will Address
After information has been gathered, the LLC Advisory Team will review it.
We make decisions about:
Violations of our rules and Consent Policy at our events and online entities
Behaviors outside of the event that could be in violation of criminal law (see below)
Outing or threats of outing (Click HERE for NCSF’s outing policy and procedures)
Reports of sanctions or bans by other events or groups with a similar consent culture
Reports that could be in violation of criminal law include:
Physical assault - Causing physical harm or unwanted physical contact upon another person (especially when the other party is injured).
Sexual assault – Intentionally touching another person’s breasts, genitals or buttocks without their consent, or coercing or physically forcing someone to engage in a sexual act.
Blackmail – Demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.
Revenge Porn – Digital distribution of nude or sexually explicit photos and/or videos of a person without their consent, sometimes in retaliation.
Stealthing – Removing a condom without consent during a sexual act. While stealthing itself is not illegal, passing on an STI is illegal in many states.
Stalking – Following someone to their home or workplace without permission.
Harassment – Harassment is repeatedly attempting to communicate with someone after they’ve asked for no contact or threatening someone or their family or friends.
Interpersonal disputes are typically not within the scope of LLC; however, we do not diminish the profound impact and harm that can be caused in such situations.
Management of contact among attendees is at their own agency, up to and including the establishment of legal protective orders. If attendees under no-contact are present together at our events, we ask you to not approach each other. We can suggest publicly available resources, including lists of self-selected professionals advertising services in kink-aware mediation, community support, and trauma counseling such as NCSF’s Kink Aware Professionals list. Such interpersonal disputes may include but not be limited to:
Emotional abuse
Gaslighting
Verbal abuse
Humiliation
Talking about bad experiences they had with someone
Unpopular speech on social media
Arguments about ideology or ideas
Evaluating Consent Incidents
While consent incidents are unique and varied, there is a common set of factors that we take into account in every case when determining the most appropriate response which includes but is not limited to the following:
The severity of the nonconsensual activity (unwanted hug vs. sexual assault, assault with injury)
The nature of the consent incident (accident, ignorance, manipulation, coercion)
The response of the individual who crossed a boundary (accepting responsibility for their behavior, showing empathy for the reporter, desire to apologize vs. denial, deflection)
Power differentials between involved individuals (leadership position, presenters, performers, owners vs. newbies, people who are traditionally marginalized)
Multiple reports of consent incidents from unrelated people reporting the same person (indicating a pattern of bad behavior)
Serial reports by one person against multiple people (indicating the consent reporting process may be being misused)
Public documents like orders of protection, police reports, and sex offender registry
Admissions of wrong-doing by the reported person
Reports of sanctions or bans by other groups with a similar consent culture
Willingness of the reported person to defer to the needs and wishes of the reporter
Sanctions
The LLC Board and Incident Advisory Team will decide on an outcome. One or more of the following actions may be taken. (An individual who knowingly and intentionally creates a false report may also be subject to these actions).
Warnings – Some people can violate consent or boundaries through inexperience, poor communication skills, or a misunderstanding of expectations. We will provide education about our Consent Policy and recommend the individual to educational materials about consent. We expect members of our community who receive formal warnings to take them seriously and adjust their behavior moving forward.
Attendance Restrictions – If you violate any of our rules or Consent Policy which is published on the LLC website, or have repeated warnings, you may be required to refrain from attending our events or a subset of our events for a set amount of time and until the individual can demonstrate sufficient evidence of growth and education, as evaluated by LLC Board and Incident Advisory Team. If this occurs during the event, no refunds will be given.
Bans – LLC may ban anyone who is not a good fit for our group. If an individual is barred from attending our events, they will also not be permitted to participate in our online groups and discussions, and vice versa. If this occurs during the event, no refunds will be given.
Consent Incidents Involving Affiliates
We hold the LLC Board, staff, volunteers, presenters, and vendors to a higher standard of conduct, so we encourage you to feel comfortable reporting behavior that is in violation of our consent policy. In addition to the above, issues involving affiliates may require additional steps:
Event Volunteers involved in a consent incident may be removed from their role at events or barred from further volunteering until a decision is made. No refunds are given.
Presenters and other educators involved in a consent incident may have their classes canceled or postponed until a decision is made. No refunds are given.
Event Staff, Sponsors, Vendors involved in a consent incident may be temporarily suspended/removed while the reports are taken and until such time as the consent incident can be evaluated by the LLC Advisory Team and a decision is made.
LLC Board Members involved in a consent incident may result in LLC consulting with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF) directly to determine the action to be taken; and may be removed from their role or barred from further volunteering until a decision is made.
Notification of a Decision
When the LLC Board and Advisory Board have reached a decision in response to a consent incident report, they will notify those involved about the decision in the following order:
The Reporter. If they would like to engage further with the person they reported to get mediation or an apology, the LLC may suggest a publicly available resource list of self-selected professional advertising services in kink-aware mediation to assist them.
The Reported person. They will be instructed not to reach out to the reporter or initiate contact at events or online (unless otherwise specified by the reporter), or additional sanctions may be applied. It’s up to the reporter to initiate any contact.
If it is a Warning or Restricted Attendance, and the reported person has demonstrated a willingness to change problematic behavior, we will state in general what changes that need to be made were suggested by the reviewer in order to attend our events.
If the person is Banned, they are told they are not a good fit for the group. We will provide no other information to protect the reporter, the group, and LLC attendees from retaliation and liability.
If an individual is banned, we may privately communicate only our decision to organizers in our community without disclosing any details regarding the incident.
In the event of a widely discussed or witnessed consent incident that results in a ban, we may acknowledge the ban and say this person is not a good fit for the group. If the person is a volunteer or staff member, a brief statement about them stepping back from their responsibilities may be made.
We will not discuss our decision with partners, friends, metamours, or other parties uninvolved with the consent incident. LLC does not allow the LLC Advisory Team, Staff or Volunteers to engage in public discussions that name names or the specifics of consent incidents at our events or online entities due to the risk of additional harm and liability to the event, reporter, and any witnesses. Confidentiality is abiding for staff members even after their term of service is over.
Closing and Summary
In publishing this Grievance Policy and Procedures, we hope that everyone involved with our event understands what happens when someone reports a consent incident to us. We strive to foster the improvement of consent education with the goal of making instances where this policy must be relied upon few and far between, and we take consent incidents seriously in order to serve our goal of creating a safer community for everyone.
These guidelines are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute legal advice.